Reap what you sow

For some time now I have occasionally teased my 4 year old about her tummy. "It blocks out the light", I might say, or "Are we having an eclipse?"

She laughs, I laugh, it's been fun. Until the other day, when she said to her mother, "Am I too fat?"

We live in an age when about 1 in 5 of kids beginning school is overweight and childhood obesity is increasing. Fat kids have a tendency to become fat adults, with consequent effects for their quality of life, health and life expectancy. I'm not sure whether this next bit is chicken or egg, but most of the parents of overweight kids don't think their children weigh too much.

That's the context. But the specific bottom line is fine. She's not fat. She has an age-appropriate tummy - her weight has always been pretty much bang in the middle of where she ought to be for her age. She's tall, but fat she ain't.

So that question brought both her mum and I up short.

She doesn't get to watch a lot of commercial telly, though she does see some. And everywhere she sees images that extol the virtues of beauty and slimness for girls and women. Actually, it's more than that, it's popular culture: Girls in advertising, magazines, appearing on television are mostly not normal-looking - they're slim to very skinny and have big hair. Toys are not normal looking either. Forget the anatomically impossible Barbie, there's now something worse, the Bratz doll.

Bratz dolls are tarty. My mum would call them 'common-looking', but that's English understatement. Put it this way, if you were a straight teenage boy and you met a young woman who looked a bit like that, you'd be very excited indeed*. Our daughter understands that a Bratz doll will never be permitted in this house.

We are trying to give her good messages. This house is full of books and she has her head in them all the time. She's physically active and next year begins school and playing a team sport. Her mother went to one of the finest universities in the world and there's no reason why she can't as well.

But there are companies that plan to make money from our girl. The marketing has started already and it clearly gets more intense over the next 5-10 years. The other day on the show, I spoke to Maggie Hamilton about her new book. She traverses a range of issues about girls from birth to adulthood. Clearly, our girl is still at an easy age and things will get tougher later. There is so much I want her to learn but four things seem very relevant right now.

1. Skinny isn't everything.
2. Treat other people the way you'd like them to treat you.
3. Buying things doesn't make you happy.
4. You have to be true to yourself. (Hard when you're still working it out)

And ps. Your Dad was wrong to say "it's blocking out the light."

*Though if their heads really were that big, it would freak the boys out completely.