It's the classic question, isn't it, the one you get at parties.
"What do you do?"
I am not good at parties and the last one I went to was my sister's 40th. In a way this doesn't count as a party (not that it wasn't fun, L, if you're reading this) because I knew nearly everyone there and so didn't get asked the question.
The thing is, answering that question is pretty much where I peak at parties because my job is easy to explain: I talk to people on the radio. Most of the time is spent preparing to talk on the radio, which means a lot of reading, quite a lot of conversations with the EPs and producers, a fair bit of thinking and some writing. The actual talking is the smallest part of the whole process, in terms of time.
There - that's it. There's obviously more to it but that's really the guts of the thing. It's dead easy to explain.
A couple of weeks ago, sitting at Adelaide airport, it occurred to me how unusual this is. I was in conversation with a geologist, who agreed, but then didn't try to explain to me what his job involves. Mainly I suspect because it's not that easy to do*.
A few days later I was having dinner with friends - it was a special occasion so there were 15 people around the table. The group was made up of:
broadcaster, IT manager, nutritionist, anaesthetist, TV journalist, environmental NGO campaigner, TV journalist, lawyer, director of a childcare centre, financial journalist, IT specialist, channel manager for a technology firm, housewife/actress, investment banker and dental specialist.
I know exactly what I do (restrain yourself) and have a good idea of what the three journalists do and also the childcare director and the housewife/actress. But that's it. Of the 14 people there who weren't me, I can tell you what five of them really do. I have no understanding at all of what the investment banker does, but consider him one of my better friends. The channel manager has explained her job to me on three occasions but I still don't understand it. She has been immensely patient.
We live in a time of arcane specialties. Many of us become fluent in highly specialised and sometimes technical skills that are difficult to explain to someone who doesn't have them. There are plenty of jobs which require skills that are easy to explain - plumber, electrician, carpenter, butcher, baker, teacher, journalist. We all feel we have a handle on these occupations without any real understanding of what they do. These days though many of us have jobs that are difficult to even describe.
This ought to mean that we make real connections when we have conversations, instead of just talking about work. But I fear that what's really happening is we're not having the conversations with those outside of our circle - because they're too hard.
Talking to people is what I do and it's usually worth the effort. I just wish I could make myself do it at parties.
*To be fair, he thought that people weren't really interested in what he did, that they were just being polite.
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7 comments:
I know how you feel Richard. Sometimes it's hard to know if people really want a good description of what you do or if they're just making polite conversation. I'm constantly thinking to myself "Are you being boring here or do they really want to know?". Maybe it doesn't matter because they will probably have forgotten what you've said the next day, and if they haven't, perhaps you've just made a new friend.
Hey Richard, I'm sure all we listeners thought it rather charming that you fessed up to not being good at parties. One reason we love 'LM' - not run by the (probably unfairly) stereotyped media stars who are supposed to strut about egotistically promoting themselves. When people ask you what you do, I think you should remember that one important thing is the way you and the other LM team members create an environment that encourages participation from the listeners and is very supportive to people who come on and speak about some pretty personal stuff. It's really one of the outstanding things about your program. You should be proud of that. First time I've looked at the blog - hope it stays enjoyable & not a burden as it might for hard working journos doing a 2nd shift in cyberspace.
It's good to feel aloof when this question is aimed at one at parties or gatherings. I am a chameleon and I feel the obligation to respond by disseminating my life's work as a freelancer would bore me and any keen listener. It would be an endurance test for all that wouldn't provide any quick and useful information.
So many people appear to apologise for what they do or are so pompous about their positions one regrets having opened the conversation.
Silence can be a good thing. Parties our out for us. I teeter on the fringe of a few groups but feel very much more comfortable dancing not talking. Some people talk ( simply for the sake of it ) and some people dance... Its better for you anyway.
Dance with your Granny, your children or your neighbours the connection is real!
the "what do you do?" question that i ask people at a party is "are you from here originally?"
then that opens the following possibilities (1) their story of getting to the new city/town, and what they think of the place, have they been back home etc ... or (2) my story along the above lines or (3) how rare it is to meet a local person (which might be rubbish, but gets people going)
I am in IT. That is the my answer to the 'what do you do question?'. In short time it gives the enquirer a sufficiently complete answer, and allows me to ask them the same question back, followed by further questions. Effectively I am saying, let's not talk about me, let's talk about you, their favorite topic. Sometimes, after which, they will ask a more in depth question about my work. This question I am often tempted to give a more genuine and less superficial answer.
At this point we each consider whether that was an interesting and fruitful conversation, and would like to do that again, so decide to exchange business cards.
Its the professional playground way of swapping phone numbers and saying 'Will you be my friend?'.
I am in IT. That is the my answer to the 'what do you do question?'. In short time it gives the enquirer a sufficiently complete answer, and allows me to ask them the same question back, followed by further questions. Effectively I am saying, let's not talk about me, let's talk about you, their favorite topic. Sometimes, after which, they will ask a more in depth question about my work. This question I am often tempted to give a more genuine and less superficial answer.
At this point we each consider whether that was an interesting and fruitful conversation, and would like to do that again, so decide to exchange business cards.
Its the professional playground way of swapping phone numbers and saying 'Will you be my friend?'.
i think everyone should pester richard to get him to start up his blog again
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